The Engleson Files

Since living in China we have happily eliminated the routine of watching weekly television programs, and, for the most part, I do not miss it in the slightest. But, there is one show…yes…one show that has filtered into the collective bloodstream at the Engleson household and has turned us all into raging pop-cutlure junkies - and that show is “The Shield”. Kristin just picked up the fifth season today on DVD, which we will begin tonight, and I am sure by tomorrow Magnus will have been taken away by Social Services, Kristin and I both fired from our jobs and all our kitchen utensils will all have been ruined due to our hot-knifing. Once you’re in, you simply cannot get out. Bring out the crack pipe, baby, it’s Season #5!

Jane’s Addiction - Summertime Rolls

Work is done!!

Once upon a time, there was a castle deep within the midst of Five Color City, but this was no ordinary castle, no, this was a magical bouncy castle. One day, a young cobbler named Magnus Bjorn was strolling through this seedy Five Color villiage when he happened to stumble upon a beautiful princess. “Do you want to go to the Bouncy Castle with me?” asked princess Hailey, “if you do come and play, you will never be the same again.” The young cobbler thought about it for awhile, for he desperately wanted to play, but, did he want to change into a different person? What did that mean? Magnus was scared. Just then, princess Hailey disappeared into the castle and began to play. Magnus sought deep within his heart and then faced his fears head on, “if I do not go inside this castle and play, I will have not lived a life at all, therefore, I must go inside this bouncy castle and play with the beautiful princess!” So, he took off his shoes and played and played and played and all the people around cheered, “All hail prince Magnus, All hail prince Magnus!”

And just how did Magnus change after playing inside the bouncy castle…Well, now that he knows it’s there I have to take him to this damn thing everynight! Damn bouncy castle!

Well, this priceless little family moment is about to get even more special for the Engleson’s - Yes folks, #2 is currently on the way and will make his/her appearance in mid-January 2007. It would be great to have a girl into the mix, but we will take happy and healthy and go from there.

Now, I did not ask for this to happen, and I certainly do not wish this upon anyone, but, I was out and about, I had my camera, and, I happened to stumble upon this accident, so I thought, “Hey, this is perfect for The Engleson Files!” Yes, I know I am going to hell, but, it is very interesting footage. What is interesting is how typically Chinese this moment is: a) the accident occurs, b) a huge crowd gathers, c) they boisterously discuss the series of events, d) watch the person writhe in pain (but do nothing to help), e) create total clutter around the scene, and then, f) cars begin to bunch up and then honk loutishly because they are inconvienenced - it’s the same everytime. Now, what this clip fails to show is the extent of the injury, and ladies and gentlemen, it was not pleasant. The man hit had his leg cleanly broken just above his ankle and the bone was out at a 90 degree angle. What the clip also fails to show is the man who hit him scream obsentities to the injured man the entire time he was lying on the ground. Hey, I always try to keep it fresh and interesting here at The Engleson Files.

First the sombraro - tonight the clogs!! Today is the day the mighty Portugal brings the feeble Netherlands to their knees in agony and defeat. 3-1 final.

Photo taken at Danang, Vietnam

With my marks officially in and only a couple of more tests to invigalate, this is definitely how I am feeling inside right now; this school year is almost a wrap! Now, you’ll never hear me say we “deserve” seven weeks vacation, but damn, it’s going to feel great!!

P.S. - This is also how Portugal feels about their upcoming game against the Netherlands!

Johnny Cash - Hurt

This cover of Nine Inch Nail’s original is, in my opinion, one of the greatest cover songs ever done, period. I tell you, from the time Johnny came onto the music scene way back when until the day he died, he was just simply the coolest guy in town!

Quite recently a rash of strange roadsigns have gone up all over Dalian in (what I think is) an attempt to create the illusion of actual rules and regulations. It hasn’t helped any, but, since this one has come onto the scene I can’t for the life of me understand what it means. Can you figure it out?? Please respond if you do because its killing me!

Alright, alright, maybe this footage is not quite as epic, or perilous, as Rick Hanson’s journey around the world, but again, to Kristin and I, this little expedition down the block was huge. In his first real tricycle ride outside of our complex, Magnus sat himself down and rode until his heart was content, riding all the way from Song Hai Li (our home) to Song Ping Li and back! (roughly 1km for those who have no reference points). He loves booting around on his trike and after this big trek his only words were, “next stop-Song Yu Li!!”

Today is the day we all get to truly experience the supernatural power(s) of the chinese fortune teller. Remember back two-weeks ago when he gave us this impassioned prophecy that the Oilers were, indeed, going to be Stanley Cup champions - well, his day for glory is now here: Game #7. Everything is on the line today. Now, I am sure many of you were doubting his abilities when the series was at 3-1, but now, no one can question his paranormal talents; we must all simply believe. Yes folks, today the Edmonton Oilers will be Stanley Cup champions. Enjoy the game!

Friday, June 16th, 2006, was a day that all heathens in the Middle Kingdom ran for their lives in sheer panic and horror. At roughly 9:30am, a dark cloud rolled in and turned our normal morning daylight into a sky of midnight black and doom. In what Blake Defieux best described, “it was a weather change of biblical proportions.” We were all waiting for either Moses to come down and introduce another five commandments, or, Prostetnic Vogon Geltz to command us all to vacate the planet due to the construction of an intergalatic causeway. The whole thing lasted about 1/2 hour (see during and after photos below) and was a truly bizarre experience.

Remember the fortune teller, remember the fortune teller!! It has been fortold, ladies and gentlemen - the Oilers will be Stanley Cup Champions! Game #6, today, here we go!

With the 2006 CFL season beginning this weekend, I would just like to give a brief editorial about my beloved team: the CFL just isn’t the same without the original Rough Riders in the league. This has been a team with a long outstanding history with Canadian football greatness - 9 Grey Cups, 75 last place finishes, and don’t forget the 1991 draft when they used their first round draft pick to select a guy who was dead. I mean, c’mon, you cannot put a price tag on that kind of entertainment - Long live the Ottawa Rough Riders! Get them back in the league.